When my husband asked me to marry him, I got a little confused. First he sang me a song he had written. Then he asked me if I would be his teddy bear for the rest of his life as he handed me a cuddly bear. I wasn't sure if he was proposing or just being romantic since there was no ring? I said “yes” to the question, but an hour later, as we were watching a movie, he offered me a box of Cracker Jax. As with any box of the toffee covered treat, the prize at the bottom was always the best part. Dan told me to open up the prize and see what I got and out fell a heart shaped diamond ring. Then I knew he was serious. When he put that ring on my finger, I was all in girls. I knew I had kissed a prince and not a frog.
The strange thing is, even in my happiness, once I said “yes” I suddenly began to panic inside. I started to doubt and question if this was Mr. Right? Thank the Lord, someone gave me a few books on engagement before marriage. Inside I found a common denominator. They cautioned that once a man determines who he wants to spend the rest of his life with, he never looks back. For a woman, that's when all the doubt begins. The scary thing is, many girls don't know this statistical information and they fear that doubt must mean they're about to marry a frog. The facts actually say women have all their doubts between the proposal and the “I DO”. They actually face most of their fears about the relationship after the ring is on their finger. I'm wondering what we were all doing before that? Enjoying all the romantic ideas of love? I know I was!
As I've considered this phenomenon, I've wondered if it started in the Garden of Eden at the very beginning of time. Maybe it's just our natural inclination toward pondering all things in our heart. What if when we ponder, we do as Eve did and begin to eat from the tree of good and evil based on human logic right in the middle of the garden and not spiritual guidance from the Father? What I do know from experience is that pondering Mr. Right is not wrong. Asking yourself, "Is this the man God has created just for me?," is the most important question you will ever ask just as saying “I Do” is the most important answer you will ever give in a human relationship. Maybe that was God's intent. After all, men and women have always had two different sets of roles from the time of creation. Men ponder from the meeting to the ring and then ask the question “Will You?” Women ponder from the ring to the meeting at the altar and say “I Will.” Maybe God planned it that way so the journey would be completely covered in prayer and wisdom from start to finish.
The one thing I guarantee is love is meant to last for a lifetime and it's a covenant God takes extremely serious. Marriage is the greatest witnessing tool we've ever been given and for that reason, God wants us to do marriage well. A healthy marriage shows the world around us the love of Christ so they will want to marry Jesus and take him as the Bride Groom of Heaven and the love of their lives. Sadly when marriages end in divorce, they fail to teach the greatest lesson God offered about our love relationship with him. When we enter into a relationship with Christ we become the Bride and He becomes our groom, and in keeping with Jewish tradition, he has gone to prepare a place for us so that when he returns he can take us as his bride back to Heaven to live with him forever. Marriage is the personification of that covenant relationship. If marriages are falling apart left and right, then the kingdom reputation is tarnished, the crown is broken, and forever becomes a fantasy.
Ladies, it's OK to ask the tough questions and ponder the choice of taking a prince from the palace or a frog from the pond. Every woman wants to marry a prince and live happily ever after. It's born in the nature of who we are to desire a knight in shining armor who will love us till death do us part. I know, I was single once. Let me tell you girls, before I met my husband, I was everybody's bridesmaid and nobody's bride and I almost married a frog. I was dating a guy from my home town I had dreamed of marrying from the time I was a young girl. He would say to me, “We could get married. We both want the same things, i.e. a nice house, nice cars, and a couple of kids.” I had that growing up and I knew those things didn't bring happiness. I wanted more and I wanted love for a lifetime.
One day it finally hit me and I surrendered everything to the Lord. I immediately ended the relationship and asked God to bring me my prince instead of me trying to change a frog into something he could never be. Literally, the next day I walked into a Sunday school class and my eyes met the eyes of a mystery man. I was captivated. That night he asked me out on our first date and a year later we were engaged, teddy bear and all. I had found my prince and he's been mine now for almost twenty-seven years!
Great news, you can find your prince too. It's important to become a lady in waiting as your Abba Father delivers your prince to the palace door. I later came to realize that there were a lot of men I could have lived with in marriage, but surrendering my heart to the Bride Groom in Heaven, led me the one man I could not live without. Meeting Mr. Right rarely happens fast by surrendering one day and finding your knight in shining armor the next. Realistically, when I consider what would have happened if I hadn't surrendered the day before, I realize I would have missed out on the best thing God had to offer me. I was literally one day away from running out of time. That thought blows the lily pad right out of the water.
If this is your dilemma and you are dating a frog, don't waste another minute. Back in the days of Kings and Queens, a daughter of the King never married beneath herself because marrying a frog could mean losing the crown or lead to the demise of the entire kingdom. The same is true today. If you want everything God has to offer you in love and marriage, start focusing on becoming the beautiful princess you were created to be instead of chasing down an unworthy frog and calling him a prince. My best advice, release that frog back into the pond, pick up the hem of your robe, and run as fast as you can from the icky, sticky pond to the living water. It's a fountain overflowing with all the love you need to make you fulfilled as the Bride of Christ. Once you are fully satisfied in him, he will order the steps of your prince right to your palace door.
Because Pharaoh refused to release what was in his hand, he was plagued with frogs... Exodus 7-10
Do you want to live in a war-torn castle or a peaceful palace? The decision is up to you. You are "woman" and you have the power to change the world you live in.
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