As we turn the corner and head into a busy new school year, our marriage relationship can sometimes take a beating. Especially when it comes to staying connected in conversation and intimacy. We can find ourselves busy with new activities, keeping the children on time with their lives moving forward, and as a result, we neglect to connect with our spouse either out of distraction or exhaustion.
Regardless of how busy or tired we are, our physical oneness must still remain a top priority because it is key to staying in sync with one another in the thick of the chaotic busyness. Believe it or not, we might actually have to put love on the calendar to guarantee sex does not get neglected. Why? Because physical connection is the glue in our marriage when the storms of life come.
Last November, as I was wrapping up writing the three chapters on intimacy for “Chaos in the Castle or Peace in the Palace?”, I came across the results of an interesting new study. In my research I discovered a scheduling scandal. It was an interesting detail about what happens to the human female body when she puts sex on the calendar. I know! I know! You probably think this theory seems unromantic or less exciting. In fact, many women shun the idea for fear it removes spontaneity from sex with their spouse. Honestly, I have avoided the notion myself for that same reason. Surprisingly, in a study where both men and women scheduled intimacy and researchers checked their blood hormone levels something surprising happened. Research concluded that sexual desire hormones actually shifted for the women when they placed sex on their weekly calendar. They determined the shift in hormones was due to the participants thinking about and looking forward to having sex. Surprisingly, men’s hormones in the study did not shift at all. That came as no surprise to me. After all, they are always looking forward to intimacy with the queen of their palace.
I realized when I read the study that, once again, our God never ceases to amaze me. He literally built into women the ability to change our sexual hormone levels despite our busy “mom on the run” lifestyles. He knew all the hats we’d wear as wife and mother and he gave us a gift that would increase our desire and move us toward peace in the palace if, along with all the many other things we place on the calendar, we actually put the word “SEX” there too. Scheduled sex can put an end to chaos in the bed chamber. No matter how busy or tired we are, if we schedule sex, our longing for seduction is automatically elevated. That is an amazing idea that only our Creator could have devised so we could continue to stay committed to and enjoying intimacy for the sake of the marriage covenant. It may mean scheduling an overnight baby sitter or a trip to the grandparents now and then, if you have children. Never the less, regardless of circumstances, we must pursue intimacy and make it a priority.
As you head toward busyness in the new school year, get down to the business of scheduling SEX as the order of the day. Sex on the calendar doesn't have to be a scandal when it helps your marriage stay strong and you stay connected to your spouse. With just a few marks on the docket you can have yourself a year full of love regardless how busy or tired you may be. This is one of the most exciting new scheduling ideas I’ve heard in a long time. So girls, get out your calendars and start scheduling!
Do you want to live in a war-torn castle or a peaceful palace?
Help for your Health & Home