“Mother MAY I?”

With summer beginning soon, here are 8 things you can use to recapture true summer fun! We’ve been using them for years to counter the chaos and boredom that can come when children suddenly find themselves with “free time”. In reality, nothing is free and everything has a cost, including “free time”. Learning how to manage that time is a taught skill since it doesn’t come naturally to any of us. Sadly, many families don’t see summer as an opportunity. Instead they see it as an “inconvenience” and by the end of summer I hear parents saying, “I can’t wait to get rid of my children” or “I can’t wait to send them back to school.” If this is something you’ve considered in the past, then maybe the ideas I’m sharing in this month’s blog can help rescue you and give you “fun in the sun” after all! 

Summer is our opportunity to re-teach life skills while using fun to do it! It’s an opportunity to take back time lost and recapture the hearts of our children. It’s a great time to teach the life skill of managing “fun” children can use later in life as adults. “Free time” is really all in our perspective. If summer has been a nightmare to you then maybe these ideas can reshape how you think. Children are like sponges and sponges either soak up clean water or they soak up sticky messes. When they arrive home for summer, you can expect they are going to squeeze out whatever they’ve been soaking up because home is a safe place to release what they’ve been holding on to.  This year instead of dreading summer, let’s realize it’s a gift and an opportunity to refill our little sponges with clean water they can take back in the fall and pour out on others. 

This summer, see it as an opportunity for re-grounding them on family ideas and relationships. You are their greatest teacher for life skills. It’s important for us as parents to embrace that noble identity. After all, we know our children better than any other teacher they will ever have. Let the real fun begin…..
 

1. The minute summer begins, celebrate. Have a “Schools Out” water party. Invite a few friends over and supply water balloons, slip and slide, blowing bubbles, and popsicles. You’re acknowledging that you support summer fun.
2. The next day hold a family meeting for discussing and looking over the summer plan. It’s a time to raise excitement about vacation or “stay”cation plans and put them on the calendar. Explain that time management is the best way to get the most out of summer and it’s crucial to the “fun factor.” Explain that to enjoy their summer, they must manage their time well.
3. Discuss summer school work in a separate meeting. This is a chance to teach the life skill of responsibility and commitment. If your children are in public or private school, more than likely they'll be sent home with a reading list or a summer bridge workbook to help them bridge the gap between one grade and the next. If they’re home-schooled, this is still a time to cover a few things that might have fallen by the way side during the regular school year. Our house rule of thumb is “work before play” which is an important time management life skill. Sit down with each child individually and discuss their required work. First, look at the book and teach your child how to consider the number of pages to be done. Help them divide pages by the number of days they have to complete. We only figure in the days in a week to complete summer school work by five, M-F. Weekends are left for “summer”. Teaching the concept of dividing up work is a life skill they'll need when they're college students or employees with a project due. After we’ve done the math to divide and conquer the work, we commit to doing the work first thing each morning so they have the rest of the day to play.
4. On day three of summer, we prepare for the fun we’ll have at the pool or lake. First, we discuss who may or may not need a refresher in swimming lessons and we check out the community options and sign up. We do this as early in the season as possible so we are all ready for action. We also look at the community calendar to see if there are other activities like golf or tennis classes they might want to take. This is a great time to get them involved and excited about encouraging one another to grow in summer skills.
5. Next, we gather pool/beach towels, sun screen, and pool toys. We check to see what needs throwing out and replacing and we take a little field trip. This is a great time to teach money skills. We set a budget for each child based on needs and wants. Then we give them cash to meet each person’s budget and head out to our favorite stores. To keep the shopping trip short, I don’t suggest more than two stores. Once there, let them do a pricecomparison and gather information and then make their purchases. Turn it into a game. Whatever money is left over at the end of the "summer shopping spree" will be used to treat everyone to ice cream or frozen yogurt. The fun is in learning how to bless everyone with a treat with what little is left over. Suddenly they'll figure out that sometimes fun requires sharing!
6. Have games lined up that you can throw out at any given moment during the summer to encourage and teach other simple life skills that need reinforcment. For example, “Mother May I” actually teaches obedience upon command and listening skills. Play “Red light, green light” to teach safety and listening skills. Once you’ve played it several times, and the children have learned it well, it’s a tool you can use in public in an emergency. For example, if you’re in the city and you see danger coming, if you’re children have played this game a lot, you can loudly say, “red light” and they’ll know to stop. Another summer game is "Charades". Instead of using the names of shows or books etc., come up with your own list of things to act out. For example, make a list of emotions or situations. If your children struggle with anger outbursts or arguing you can throw in scenes of those behaviors and act them out in the game. It can open discussion to talk about issues or struggles. Skills are more easily taught in the midst of a non-threatening environment and fun than when things are already out of control. Discuss what they observed during the game or what they learned. This can teach coping skills without the threat of a chaotic situation.
7. Stop the boredom! If your children are like mine, when they have free time they can cop the attitude of “I’m bored” after about three days into summer vacation. If we aren’t careful and we don’t teach them to use the time wisely, we can make it more difficult for them when school starts back in the fall by nurturing laziness or boredom. To conquer the boredom at our house we use what I call “Boredom Busters.” It’s a list of 25 to 30 things I come up with before school is out. They include crafts, activities, learning fun, and much more. I have different lists for girls than boys because they tend to like different things to conquer boredom. I also have different lists for older children versus younger children. I start preparing these lists a few weeks before school ends so when the time comes, the lists are ready. *(See Boredom Buster examples below then add your own to your list) My children know that “Boredom Busters” are a natural part of our summer fun!
8. Turn “Boredom Busters” into a goal oriented game teaching the life skill of setting and reaching goals. The goal is to finish the list of activities before the last week of summer begins. If they finish them on time, they get an exciting reward the last week before school starts. Each time they complete one, they must have a parent check it off. Make a list of acceptable rewards to allow each child to choose from, unless you have a large family, which I will address in a moment. For example, one child may want to go buy a new book, or one may want to go to the zoo as a reward for finishing the boredom buster list. We do our summer shopping for fall school early so that this last week is not interrupted and our summer ends with a bang instead of a chaotic mad dash. If you have a lot of children, hold a family meeting to discuss ideas. Then take a secret ballot vote between the three best options for a family reward. You’re teaching family democracy and healthy debate. Whichever reward wins the vote, that’s where everyone will go who has completed the boredom buster list. More than likely you won’t need a sitter for a child who doesn’t complete the list. Have one lined up if needed. If you have to leave one behind, you can rest assured it won’t happen at the end of next summer. With this plan you’re teaching the life skills of time management and goal setting along with the consequences when goals aren’t met.

 In closing, remember that summer can be a season of growing relationships by using "fun" to recapture the hearts of your children and re-ground them with a sense of “family”. This is the greatest “summer fun” you can give them. When fall arrives, they’ll be more ready to return to the system, conquer the world, and squeeze out love from their summer sponge.

*Examples of Boredom Busters
​(add your own ideas up to a list of 25 or 30 items)
Boredom Busters/Older Girls
Go on a nature walk look for two things you've never seen before 
Write a letter to a family member or friend. 
Make a card for someone. 
Play hopscotch for 15 minutes 
Catch a bug, draw it, and identify it.
Paint your fingernails. 
Create a scavenger hunt for Friday Night Family Night 
Wash your bicycle. 
Read a book and write a summary 
Paint a picture.
Play a card game with a sibling or friend 
Roller-blade outside for 30 minutes 
Do two chores that belong to someone else.

Boredom Busters/Older Boys
Build a Lego creation.
Play Frisbee outside for 15 minutes and try to hit targets
Go on a jog.
Write a letter to a family member or friend.
Practice Jumping on the pogo stick for at least 15 minutes
Catch a bug draw it and identify it.
Practice golf on the putting green in the basement for 30 minutes
Play freeze-tag or hide and seek outside with a sibling or friend.
Put a puzzle together.
Set up a Putt-putt course and play by yourself or a friend
Jump rope for 10 minutes, see how many times you can jump without missing.
Write a piano song.
Write a list of things you are thankful for.
Write a letter to JESUS.
Write a note to mom and/or dad.
Write a fictional story about your favorite battle in the war, you can be the main character.


Boredom Busters/Younger Children
Do two chores that will help your mom out.
Tell your mom 5 things you are thankful for.
Dictate a letter to JESUS and let mom write it down for you.
Play a new board game with someone to learn a new game.
Watch an educational video.
Draw a picture and ask someone to help you find a scripture to go with it.
Try to make up a two-line poem about the weather or some other topic that rhymes.
Sing a praise chorus to Jesus.
Think up 3 things that make your mom such a good mom and your dad such a good dad.
Have your mom or dad read a joke book to you for 15 minutes.
Play hide and seek or freeze tag outside with a sibling or friend.
See how many times you can dribble a basketball; try to beat your record each time.