Gather at the roundtable weekly...

palace plan Sep 15, 2021

One of the most important things that Dan and I implemented at our palace a long time ago was our weekly roundtable meeting. Marriage has a business side that has to be managed. When we don’t manage it well, people get confused and disconnected, no one knows where they are supposed to be, and someone forgets to pick up the children.

That’s why we implemented our weekly meeting where everyone brings their calendar of choice to the table and we hammer out our schedules together for the week. That way everyone knows how to pray for each other. They know where they’re going and when. They know when we’re sharing dinner together, and who’s picking up whom. This is a crucial aspect to keeping the chaos out of your castle and living the palace life.

For more practical ideas on how to rule your kingdom well and manage the business side of your marriage, pick up a copy of our bestselling books “Marriage Warrior” or “Chaos in the Castle or Peace...

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A house divided will fall

palace plan Aug 23, 2021

Understanding the importance of unity within a business and home is critical to developing healthy relationships. 

In business having a unified purpose is crucial to any organization. Everyone on the team has to be headed in the same direction to successfully reach their goals. When disunity arises in a business platform, things can easily unravel leading to a house of cards that can crash at any moment. Every person has their motivations and learning to recognize those in order to find common ground so that every one is moving in the same direction is important to keeping everyone on the same page. Praise and opportunity are great motivators. For example, if a person in business is motivated by a pat on the back, then being sensitive to that as a boss can empower your employee to achieve greater things. If they are driven by promotion and advancement, then giving opportunities for them to take the lead and shine can help them be more motivated to achieve their goals....

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Are you a Bubbling Brook or a Quiet Stream?

palace plan Aug 09, 2021

Why is my spouse not talking?

Dan and I have been married for thirty plus years. Over the years, communication is one area where Dan and I had a lot to learn. For years, it was a bumpy road and I often found myself complaining about Dan's communication skills. Several years back, I had a break through. The truth hit me as I realized the bigger problem with our communication was not him. It was me. (Ouch!) My need to constantly analyze a situation, create a solution to a problem, or simply state my opinion was at the root of our communication problems. Don't get me wrong, a wife's role in communication and the act of gathering and giving information is one of the many keys to success in marriage, which I share in depth in our new book, "Chaos in the Castle or Peace in the Palace?" There we lay out the details about the powerful gatherer and givers God created wives to be. However, outside that role, if we're not careful, we can have the tendency to talk a situation to death since...

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Design a budget...

finances palace plan Aug 02, 2021

Do you and your spouse have a budget?

Every business operates with a budgetary plan. In fact, there’s an aspect of marriage that should operate like a business. It needs to be run with the same principles in mind. The goal is to operate in the black and not in the red as a married couple. Today, one of the leading causes of divorce is financial failure. A budget helps you both work toward financial goals, and live within the means of your financial structure.

There are lots of online tools and programs that can help with budgeting, but having a budget all boils down to the same basics:

  • Plan what you spend before you spend it
  • Stop spending when you reach the amount allocated in the budget
  • Don’t spend more than you make!

No one ever said it was easy, but a budget is critical to allowing you to achieve your financial goals and find economic success. For more on this topic, see the full blog at the link in our profile

 

When Dan and I got married, I had no idea what a...

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Eliminate the D-word from your vocabulary

palace plan Jul 25, 2021

It’s not uncommon when things get tough for people to resort to threats, especially if they feel afraid. When it comes to marriage, if you really want your marriage to succeed, walking out the door is not an option. Through the years, I’ve been grateful that Lydia and I made a commitment to one another that no matter how difficult things got in our relationship, we would never use the “D-word” (D-I-V-O-R-C-E) in an argument.

Once divorce is mentioned, you’re opening yourself up to the idea that ending your marriage is a viable option and can lead you to seriously considering it. After over 30 years of marriage, it hasn’t all been easy, but knowing we’re both committed to our marriage has helped us through the storms of life.

Even in the times where everything appeared hopeless, our commitment to our covenant held strong and we made it through. Every marriage goes through seasons, and some are much harder than others. By sticking it out and...

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Today’s unresolved anger becomes tomorrow’s bitterness

palace plan Jul 19, 2021

Have you ever had an argument and walked away angry?

Allowing hurt and angry feelings to linger is one of the most toxic things that can destroy a marriage. Letting an argument go unresolved allows the hurt feelings to fester. This opens the door to false beliefs about our spouse and their intentions. Our minds can go a million different directions and play all sorts of trick on us, but unresolved anger all leads to the same end… bitterness.

 Bitterness is like a cancer that grows out of control and…

  • Robs us of trust
  • Kills our love
  • Destroys our relationship

Just like with cancer, the earlier we catch it the easier it is to cure. By taking care of issues today, we can stop it from destroying our tomorrow. Don’t let issues fester, it just makes it worse and causes more and more problems. The longer issues remain unresolved, the deeper the hurt and more time can cause further serious consequences to the relationship.

In the heat of an argument, you may need...

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Clean out the dirty laundry before it cleans you out

palace plan Jul 13, 2021

We all have dirty laundry that needs to be unpacked and aired out occasionally in order to move forward in healthy relationships. Previous experiences in discussions can shape our thoughts and how we deal with present circumstances.  Understanding these connections is critical to reframing our perspective and changing our responses. 

 

For example, if a person grows up with a father who is domineering and doesn’t allow anyone to disagree with his edicts, the individual may either become just like their father or choose to go the complete opposite, causing them to be apathetic in their leadership in their own home.  Either choice is the extreme response based on past personal experience.

 

If you tend to be a docile leader, avoiding all conflict at any cost means nothing gets resolved and there’s no closure to marital issues. This keeps both parties trapped in a broken system of no communication. If you are the opposite and struggle with being...

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