Forgiveness is often considered one of the hardest things to give, yet it's absolutely crucial to any healthy relationship.  Misunderstandings and hurt feelings are a part of relationships, but how we deal with them determines how the future plays out.

When circumstances arise, we can hold onto resentment, letting it slowly turn to bitterness, or we can let it go. If you find yourself in a situation where you have wounded your spouse, take the first step, apologize and ask for their forgiveness. 

Even if you were the one wounded, willingly consider taking the first step in offering forgiveness before it's even sought. I can say from personal experience, starting with a clean slate provides the best basis for moving forward together. 

Marriage inevitably brings conflict and disagreement.  The apostle Paul admonishes us, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,"  Ephesians 4:26 NIV.

Early in our marriage, Lydia and I committed to this principle.  I have to admit, I didn't always abide by this.  After one heated discussion, I left and went to spend the night in another bedroom. As I was getting settled and about to fall asleep, Lydia came in with her pillow and snuggled up to me to finish the discussion and make up.  She refused to let us go to sleep until it was resolved. 

Over the course of nearly thirty-two years of marriage, there have been a few nights we just didn't go to sleep at all.  Anger at bedtime turns to bitterness in the morning.  Don't close your eyes to fall asleep until you have resolved the issues of the day.  

Happy Valentine’s Day!  You have time to find something thoughtful and let your Valentine know how special she is.  Of course, the time-honored flowers, candy, cards, and dinner are great, but how about taking a little time to find something special just for your wife?   A little extra thought can make the difference between a good Valentine’s Day and a great one.

The original meaning of the word "Valentine" is strong, vigorous, and healthy. A strong, vigorous and healthy marriage builds upon lasting special memories. For the next seven days celebrate with the love of your life by choosing a special memory to reflect on. Text details of the memory to your wife, sharing what you love about it. On the seventh day celebrate Valentine’s Day with a romantic dinner and a gift to commemorate your life together. For added points you could include a picture related to the event. Examples could be…

Our wives can be on the road so much that their car is the last thing that gets any attention.  Surprise your wife and get all your children together to do a mobile makeover for mom.  Have one person wash her car, another vacuum, another wash the windows, wax and detail.  If your children are already out of the house or you don't have children, you can do the job yourself or take it to a car wash and let them detail it to the max.  In any case, your wife will appreciate you taking care of her and her car.

Go prepare a bubble bath, light some candles, and say to your wife "I've got it all covered babe, take the night off!" Then handle dinner and everything else so she gets some "me" time.

Our wives are constantly doing small things for us and keeping the house running smoothly.   Many times they don't get a break or receive much appreciation.  Find something that your wife normally does and do it for her.  Don't mention what you are doing or say a word, just leave a note on her pillow thanking her for all she does for you. wash the dishes, shop for groceries, vacuum the house, fold the laundry, clean the bathroom, fill her car with gas, make the bed, prepare school lunches, sweep the kitchen floor, put children to bed. 

As you prepare food for the holidays, don't forget to provide for those in need. Think of those in your neighborhood or area that need some help. Make a meal with the extra food you are preparing for your family. Let the whole family be involved in delivering it.

Give your wife a night out with the girls.  Take care of everything at home including the children.  Let her forget about her responsibilities and get some me time with her friends. 

As the last of the Thanksgiving turkey is finished off, it's time to look towards Christmas.  This year, take the lead in decorating and preparing your home for the holidays.  

Whether it is trimming the tree, putting up lights, hanging the stockings, make it a family event for all to enjoy.  Rather than rush to get it all done in one day or night, spread it out over the week and take your time to enjoy each moment.

Don't forget to start the season right with Christmas music while you decorate.